What Is This World Coming To?

Sometimes, when I am watching the news, I become less certain of my grip on reality than is intended by the programmer. This occurs most often when I am watching TV opinion programming.

Guest host ED Hill was filling in for Bill O’Reilly when she was tasked with promoting an upcoming ‘debate’ between two people on the issue of gender: “Next week! Do husbands create more housework for wives? We’ll debate it.” Debate it? Let me settle the question. Yes. No matter what. No matter if the guy is a neat freak to the level of requiring therapy. The only way a husband could not create more housework for his wife would be if he lived next door. Conversely, wives create more housework for husbands. Nobody lives without leaving a trace.

Now that that’s settled, perhaps I might offer a suggestion for a better use of O’Reilly’s valuable airtime.

The Mad Mullah Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is hell-bent on developing a nuclear weapon he can fire at Israel in order to bring about the return of the Mahdi to lead Islam in the conquest of the West in a great end times victory that ushers in the Islamic Millennium. If it takes blowing up Israel and even Iran to wake the Mahdi, well, everybody’s got to go sometime, right? How is a guy with a suicide bomb different than a country with a suicide bomb? Let’s debate that.

Russia continues to supply Ahmadinejad with nuclear materials under the transparent fiction that oil-rich Iran requires nuclear energy to meet its peaceful domestic needs. The genocide in Darfur continues unabated. The UN babbles on about how America caused global warming, while we’re still running space heaters all over the house to keep warm in April. How about a debate on the ’settled science’ that isn’t?

Israel is conducting national emergency drills in preparation for an expected massive rocket attack from Syria, Lebanon and Gaza, including the eventuality of some of them carrying chemical or biological warheads.

The lunatics are in charge of the asylum in the Congress, Hillary wants to be in charge in the White House, and Obama thinks the only thing that will sweeten the bitterness of the churchgoing, gun-toting, xenophobic racists who inhabit the blighted Bible Belt is a bit of Jeremiah Wright’s preachin’.

Why not talk about that? Instead of a debate over the obvious about nothing. I need an Alka-Seltzer.