Twisted Scripture
When Bill Clinton was accepting the DNC nomination for president in 1991, he turned to the Scriptures for inspiration as he delivered his acceptance speech:
“As the Scripture says, ‘eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither has it entered into the heart of man, the things that we can build.’” - Bill Clinton DNC acceptance speech.
Bill apparently didn’t like the way the original Author said it: ” But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him.” (1st Corinthians 2:9)
In the Bible’s version, you didn’t have to vote for Bill Clinton in order for God to love you. Not to be outdone, Bill’s running mate, Al “the Ozone Man” Gore announced; “As it says in the Scriptures, ‘do not lose hope. This nation will be rebuilt.’” 
I’d like to tell you what Scripture Al Gore was quoting, but I couldn’t find anything even remotely close. But this is Al Gore — so it doesn’t matter if the Scripture says so or not. Al said so, so the matter is settled.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, having evidently obtained her Divinity degree from Al Gore’s School of Theology and Used Car Emporium, wanted something spiritual she could say to celebrate Earth Day in honor of her god, Al Gore.
The Bible tells us in the Old Testament, ‘To minister to the needs of God’s creation is an act of worship. To ignore those needs is to dishonor the God who made us.’ On this Earth Day, and every day, let us pledge to our children, and our children’s children, that they will have clean air to breathe, clean water to drink, and the opportunity to experience the wonders of nature.”
Cybercast News (God bless ‘em) tracked down a number of theologians and asked them where the heck she found that verse.
John J. Collins, the Holmes professor of Old Testament criticism and interpretation at Yale Divinity School, said he is totally unfamiliar with Pelosi’s quotation.
“(It’s) not one that I recognize,” Collins told Cybercast News Service. “I assume that she means this is a paraphrase. But it wouldn’t be a close paraphrase to anything I know of.”
Claude Mariottini, a professor of Old Testament at Northern Baptist Theological Seminary, told Cybercast News Service the passage not only doesn’t exist - it’s “fictional.”
“It is not in the Bible,” Mariottini said. “There is nothing that even approximates that.”
Other scholars agree that nothing remotely resembling it can be found in any version of the Scriptures - Old Testament or New Testament.
“The quote does not exist in the Old Testament, neither in the New Testament,” said the Rev. Andreas Hock, a doctor of Scripture who teaches in the Roman Catholic archdiocese of Denver’s St. John Vianney Seminary.
“Even in pieces or bits, (it) cannot be found in the Old Testament,” he added.
Even more interesting is the fact that Pelosi has been using the same alleged ‘quote’ at least five other times in speeches, evidently without anyone challenging her. Why in the world would the Speaker of the House of Representatives — a Democrat at that — start quoting the Bible?? Don’t Democrats believe that is unconstitutional? Well, it is if a Republican does. When a Democrat does, its to make a point — a point not lost on Professor Mariottini:
“People try to use the Bible to give authority to what they are trying to say,” he said. “(This) is one of those texts that you fabricate in order to support what you want to say.”
He said it. Now I don’t have to.
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Remember Bill Clinton’s testimony in 1998 that redefined sex for an entire generation? “It depends on what the meaning of the words ‘is’ is.” referring to the technicalities of the affair he had with intern Monica Lewinsky. He was explaining his understanding of what adultery meant to him as a Christian. Most people disagreed with Bill including the US House of Representatives and he became only the second president in US history to be impeached.
Each time Clinton gave testimony or a deposition he had to swear to tell the truth on the Bible. Our country’s ‘old’ symbol of authority.
Nancy Pelosi and Al Gore are so far left of San Francisco that they’re off the map. Pelosi represents the ‘we hate the Bush’ group which got her elected Speaker of the House. She perfected the ‘Peter principle’.
If Glob-Al Gore weren’t so dangerous he’d be funny quoting Matthew chapter 6 verse 21 while discussing the environment:
“And I’m a grandfather now. I want to be able to tell my grandson, when I’m in my later years, that I didn’t turn away from the evidence that showed that we were doing some serious harm. In my faith tradition, it is written in the book of Matthew, ‘Where your heart is, there’s your treasure also.’ And I believe that we ought to recognize the value to our children and grandchildren of taking steps that preserve the environment in a way that’s good for them.”
Gore got the quote from Matthew 6:21 backwards. Matthew 6:21 states:
“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
Call me crazy or old fashioned but I like my Bible verses to match the Word of God – the Bible.
I love that picture of Bill playing the Blues on his Sax.
JamieT
25 Apr 08 at 9:59 pm
Al Gore would probably tell you he invented scripture.
A-ok
30 Apr 08 at 10:13 am