What Is This World Coming To?

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is the third most powerful person in America’s political line of succession, after Barack Hussein Obama, President of the 57 States of America and VP Joe “It’s Patriotic To Pay Higher Taxes” Biden.

But Speaker Pelosi is worried about how those 57 states will be able to pay higher taxes when five hundred million Americans are losing their jobs every month.   I would be too.  At that rate, three weeks from now, there won’t be a job left in the whole country.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi defended tacking birth control onto the TARP stimulus bill by saying that fewer babies are good for the economy.   According to the exchange with host George Stephanopolis   on ABC’s This Week:

STEPHANOPOULOS: Hundreds of millions of dollars to expand family planning services. How is that stimulus?

PELOSI: Well, the family planning services reduce cost. They reduce cost. The states are in terrible fiscal budget crises now and part of what we do for children’s health, education and some of those elements are to help the states meet their financial needs. One of those - one of the initiatives you mentioned, the contraception, will reduce costs to the states and to the federal government.

STEPHANOPOULOS: So no apologies for that?

PELOSI: No apologies. No. we have to deal with the consequences of the downturn in our economy.�

Nancy Pelosi inadvertently provided an insight into her somewhat flighty reign as Speaker of the House when she told reporters one of her favorite moments from Inauguration Day was when Marine One lifted off the Capitol grounds, signifying former President George W. Bush’s exit from Washington.

“It felt like a 10-pound anvil was lifted off my head,” she said.

By Frank Spaniak

In keeping with the Illinois tradition of citizens here electing corrupt politicians, we have a host of them here - the list keeps getting longer and I suspect that there are more on the way. Illinois now has another candidate in Governor Rod Blagojevich for the dubious honor of being the latest arrested governor in our state.

I’m told that there is the beginnings of a grassroots effort to build a politician’s prison  including telephones, faxes and computers. Day to day operations will be assisted by lesser corrupt secretaries and other incarcerated staffers. The perfect place to “put the arm” to the deal makers that pass thru on state business.

There are already complaints that they (those in the former governors’ wing) will have to share a conference room for important meetings, and indictment-answering press conferences. The bidding for the property and building for this new prison has already begun - the under the table bidding is in full deal-making mode, the state has already agreed to supply the brown paper bags and shoeboxes as courier packages. Currently supply is meeting demand for these tools of the Illinois bidding process.

This is not really a shock to anyone from Illinois —  these kinds of things happen.  In fact I think more eyebrows are raised when people say they are not going on. To get attention though, it has been suggested that inward pointing razor wire fencing and guard towers be built around the governor’s mansion to appease the public and get the current and future governors used to the look and feel.

If I could get my tongue any further into my cheek it would be sticking out the side of my face. The reason Chicago is called the windy city was not originally for the four-season weather we get here - but the constant and sadly amusing politics in this state.

Sheesh.

While the rest of us ponder Obama’s brilliant energy strategy proposals (who knew the incredible energy savings to be derived from properly inflated tires?)  Obama’s new campaign plane is a mirror of the candidate himself; elegant, ostentatious, a gas-guzzling monster fit to carry The One along his road to the White House.

His Boeing 757 was retrofitted to install four individual chairs that resemble La-Z-Boys. They are free-standing and made of plush leather with pockets on the sides. There is also a booth which seats four for a meeting or a meal.

His chair has his name and campaign logo embroidered on the back top — “Obama ‘08” on one line and “President” underneath. To one side is a small table stacked with newspapers ready for the candidate’s arrival. The table of the booth is always covered in snacks and cheese and is where Obama spends most of his time during flights meeting with staff and sitting for the occasional interview.

The next two sections are outfitted with expansive business class seats for senior and junior level staff including Obama’s media team, which films all of the candidate’s events for promotional purposes. Politico’s Mike Allen said that by comparison, Air Force One seems ‘claustrophic.’

But, he is The One. We should be grateful he deigns to come to the people, for if not, the people would surely come to him, to at least touch the hem of his garment, if nothing else.

O-Force One may not be a flaming chariot in the sky, but for the True Believers, it will have to do. For now.

What?  You didn’t know?  I received an email of the South African Advisory Board Company’s Daily Briefing: from a doctor friend in Johannesburg.  (Thanks, Anton) It’s a member’s-only professional website, but the blurb that caught my friends attention, (and now yours) was this one:

“New research suggests that the rising temperatures and increased dehydration associated with global warming will lead to higher rates of kidney stone disease in the United States, particularly among residents of southern states, according to a study published in last week’s Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences”

Melting polar caps,  starving polar bears,  tornadoes, floods, Sudanese genocidal mania and now, kidney stones!

It appears that the Reverend Jesse Jackson is not quite as enamored of Senator Barack Hussein Obama as are the majority of his constituents.

Unaware that his microphone was on before a television interview Wednesday, Jackson expressed anger that in his view, Obama has been overly critical of the black community.

“See Barack Obama been, um, talking down to black people on his faith based — want to cut his n*ts off,” Jackson said in a video that aired Wednesday on the Fox News program “The O’Reilly Factor.” Read the rest of this entry »

by Frank Spaniak

“And while you are there, could you tighten it up around the chest and neck too?”

In typical nanny-state fashion Japanese companies are being urged to get all their employees to trim down to meet government guidelines or face possible heavy fines for not being in shape, CNN reports here.

Does this apply to foreign workers? For example, if I were to go work in Japan for a year or two now that I’m above 40, would my employer be fined if I didn’t shrink my (censored) waist size to a 33.5? I’m trying to figure out how the fine works, is it by the waist inch? Read the rest of this entry »